and so I derive life's good
I wonder how life would have been like had I not discovered fitness for myself when I was 21. I was a kiddo in my first job at Flipkart. Bangalore was at least 2 degrees cooler than now and Cult centers were opening up in all hotspots. I had gotten into IIM Ahmedabad and got my admission deferred so I had an entire year to myself to enjoy my present.
It started off with a few zumba classes at first, followed by trying out the free gym at Flipkart office and then eventually getting hooked to many other fitness formats offered by cult. In some time, I started witnessing something I hadn't done before - my own physical strength. And what a ride it has been ever since.
Fast forward to 10 years down the line, I have now turned into a full time athlete, play competitive ultimate frisbee, squat 1.5 times my weight, have represented the country 3x and often wonder what would life be like in two scenarios - had I never got into fitness and what if I started sports much earlier - like most of the athletes I meet have, sporty since childhood. Would have played till the sunset everyday in school. You get the point.
The answer to the first is very straightforward, life would have pretty much sucked. Grossly unimaginable. The answer to the second, is a bit complicated. If you're an athlete you probably already know how much of yourself you have to pour into your sport to turn mere participations into wins.
There are times when I win and its so ecstatic, my mind keeps imagining how many more of those wins I could have bagged had I started playing earlier? Similarly days when I lose are accompanied with a lot of if onlys. If only I started earlier..If only
And then there are moments of acceptance - when it all makes sense, when I feel it panned out exactly how it was meant to be. To make me feel much more grateful for discovering this side of mine a little later. To be able to feel such immense passion. To wake up everyday and know how high of a standard I have to measure myself against every single day. Winning is rare. It is exhausting. But it is worth it. I have come to appreciate my own journey and escape the traps of comparisons and wishful thinking.
10 years ago, I had no clue what sports meant. The closest I came to knowing how it would feel like is probably sports movies. Coach carter and likes. Chak de India and what not. Today all these movies hit home so hard. I recently watched this movie Nyad - of a marathon swimmer who chased a goal for 35 years and finally achieved it at 63. And I was sobbing through the last 5 minutes. I now feel so much more and know better.
What I also know is younger me would have been such a fan of 31 year old me. I am stronger, better and faster than I was ever before.
What a gift this competition is - me against myself.
Leveling up. Peace out.